In secondary school.I was very poor in maths . During exams.i’d get between 2% and 18%.The results used to be announced sequentially.that is from lowest to the highest marks.so I would always be on the first or second to be called out.
One day.the maths results were announced and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out.
The teacher got to 30%.40%.60% and 70%.
still my name had not been called out.everyone in the class kept looking at me asking.
” Guy what’s up? How did you pass this exam?
By the time the teacher got to 80%,I was already grinning in excitement. when he got to 90%.He had only one paper remaining.
I then asked myself.
could I have scored 90% in maths?
I was feeling anxious and happy now.
I thought my dreams have been answered.
The whole class was amazed as everyone kept looking at me. It was unbelievable.
Finally the teacher looked up and said.
student here did not write his name on the paper he scored 0,if you have not received your paper come and get it now!”
JACK DANIELS was found dead 2day by JOHNNY WALKER at SAVANNAH street near CASTLE in RED SQUARE centre. His wife HENNESY & their two sons HANSA & AMSTEL have been crying under an AMARULA tree wearing a BLACK LABEL which shows that they are widowers. Mr HEINEKEN thinks he was killed by HUNTERS who shot him with a STRONG BOW. His FOUR COUSINS confirmed he was coming from club J&B in MELLOW WOOD on 4TH STREET. It appears that he had an affair wit Mr HUNTERS wife GUARANA. She also feared 4 her life & moved 2 NEDENBERG. CAPTAIN MORGAN is still investigating this case but evidence points that Mr J.C le ROUX is also a suspect. The funeral will be at KLIPDRIFT & performed by pastor FISH EAGLE as soon as the church BELLS ring tomorrow. We hope JAMESON & his wife NAMAQUA will arrive on time. They have 2 fly over TWO OCEANS to get here..!
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He decides he’ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.
He goes to German Hell and asks, “What do they do here?”
He is told: “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day”.
The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.
He checks out the USA Hell as well as the Russian Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German Hell.
Then he comes to the Zimbabwean Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, “What do they do here?”
He is told: “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Zimbabwean devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day”.
“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?” he asks.
“Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work.
The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on.
And on top of that, the Zimbabwean devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet, and goes out to do his private business for the rest of the day.”